Blaming the Gift and the Giver…


“And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.” Genesis 3:12, KJV

Unfortunately, we live in one of the most selfish societies that has ever existed. No one (well, almost no one) is willing to take responsibility for their actions. It is always someone else’s fault.

A very popular church leader (I wouldn’t call him a “Pastor” as he has no idea what the word means) has made the statement that if a Christian wife “lets herself go,” i.e., gains weight, she is no longer attractive to her husband. So, if he commits adultery with some “sweet young thing” guess what? It is his wife’s fault. Rarely have I heard a more ridiculous statement especially from someone who claims to be a servant of God. One would think that someone who teaches the Word would actually know the Word, you know? Sadly, all too often, it is not so. And this idea is increasingly becoming acceptable among Pastors (so-called).

Lets see what the Bible has to say about whose at fault when a husband commits adultery:

“Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.” (James 1:13-14, KJV)

James hits us right between the eyes, gentlemen: “…his own lust…” Okay, you can argue with me if you want, but if you argue with God, your stupid (just keep reading). Period. Lust exists within all of us. It is only brought out when we are tempted. Now remember, being tempted is no sin. Sin enters in when we entertain and then act on the temptation. Lust must be guarded against and kept under control by the Holy Spirit whom God has given us.

“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding.” (Proverbs 6:32, KJV)

The word “understanding,” literally means, “the heart,” and also speaks of the feelings and the will. Committing the act of adultery demonstrates the stupidity of a man – sooner or later, it will be found out, and he knows it! Proverbs 7 speaks of the defense against this sin – Wisdom.

“The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the Lord shall fall therein.” (Proverbs 22:14, KJV)

The word “abhorred” means, “to foam at the mouth,” i.e. to be enraged (Strongs Exhaustive Concordance). So vile is this sin in the eyes of the Lord, that He becomes enraged by such conduct. I believe that it is because this particular sin is such a betrayal of the wife’s trust. And God knows how betrayal feels. And He warns is in Malachi 2:15, “…let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.” (KJV)

Finally, just one more passage from Proverbs 31:30:

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” (KJV)

In addition to being selfish, society today is overwhelmed by sex. Everywhere, everyplace, we see signs and advertisements, as well as being bombarded with sex on television and the internet. The perfect body, hair, look, form; its everywhere. Young women especially are starving themselves, worrying themselves, even harming themselves because they don’t look like the photo shopped models in the magazines.

The truth is, sooner or later, beauty will fade. Hair will turn gray (if your lucky); hair will fall our (if your not lucky, like me); wrinkles will form (can you say Botox?); muscles will atrophy, metabolism will slow down, you will gain weight (ah, again, me) and gravity will win! And then, what is left? Only that which was real in the first place.

If your relationship with your wife (or husband) is solely based upon appearance, what a shallow relationship it is indeed. All too often it is true that “beauty is only skin deep.” What really matters, according to God, is “a woman who fears the Lord.”

So, perhaps the next time you think about blaming the Gift God has given you, your wife (if you are so blessed to have one who actually puts up with you) and the Giver, God, whose daughter she is and is enraged at any man who betrays her, you might want to stop. Are you really going to betray your wife by blaming her for your own lust? Really? It is bad enough to betray her trust, but then to go on and blame her for your acting on your own sinful desires is as bad a committing the act all over again. It only proves how stupid you really are.

And any church leader that makes such statements is stupid; he lacks understanding. And certainly does not know what God says on the subject.

Think about it…


1 Comment

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One response to “Blaming the Gift and the Giver…

  1. Joe Dallas

    Next time just say what you mean, Randy. (ha!) Really, that’s a very good message, timely and needed.

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